If you missed Part 1 or Part 2 of this series, read them first to learn what has influenced our ideas on birth. This post is focused on how we apply (and plan to apply) our ideas to the birthing process and time shortly afterward.
Don't miss the link at the bottom of this post - I've uploaded our birth plan for Cora so that you can see how we personally plan to flesh these ideas out.
Let's jump in!
Because pregnancy is not an illness, it is not necessarily a medical event. That means it doesn't necessarily need to happen in a hospital, or with a doctor!! It also means that even hospital births don't need to be systematic, scheduled, and monitored as strictly as they often are. Most families have many options for their birth setting, care providers, and methods of pain relief. OB-Gyns are highly skilled surgeons. Some women need medical intervention and the hospital is exactly where they want to be. Others, the majority of us, need to educate ourselves on our options and choose what we feel to be the best option for us. Some examples of the way women birth other than what has become standard are: in a hospital with a midwife, in a hospital with a doctor but attended by a doula (our choice this time), in a birthing center attached to a hospital with a midwife, in a free-standing birthing center with a midwife, at home with a midwife, and at home unassisted by a midwife or doctor with the support of family, friends, and/or a doula. Read this compilation of the World Health Organization's recommendations for normal birth, and watch for the last part of this series for more resources.
Because pain is purposeful and not necessarily an indication of something going wrong, there's not always a reason to dull or avoid it. I know what you are thinking, "who needs a REASON to want to dull or avoid pain??" right? :) While I completely empathize, I'd like to challenge you to think more about the reasons it is better to endure through the pain. One reason is the experience - being present and feeling the whole process is something some women deeply desire. This is not my major motivation. The more compelling reasons for me personally are that the chemicals used to dull pain can be harmful to you and your baby. Possible negative ramifications include: disruption of the hormones that encourage effective birthing and bonding, stalled labor, increased risk for more interventions (including cesareans), respiratory problems for both mother and baby, and increased difficulty establishing a good breastfeeding relationship. You'll find a good summary with sources here.
You can and should trust God (and your body) more than your doctor. I am *not* saying that your doctor is untrustworthy or that there aren't times when God has put a doctor in your life to guide you. I *am* saying that when a doctor's advice goes against what you know/feel to be true - pay attention and don't be afraid to respond. More on that in the next point. Doctors and hospitals see a lot of women every day. Their time and resources are limited, and they are trained to "get the job done." Unfortunately, this can lead to women being treated more like numbers than individuals miraculously adding to their family. Know that one intervention (pain medication, induction, internal fetal monitoring, etc.) often leads to another and another. Stop the ball rolling before it starts if possible. Here's a short video on interventions, you can find other excellent videos here.
You DO have the right to decline medical procedures. You can request a second opinion, a change of doctor or nurses, or ask to sign a form releasing the hospital from liability for going AMA (Against Medical Advice). The hospital I will deliver at has given me the forms I need to sign to decline the Hep B vaccine and other procedures to review ahead of time. They didn't make a big deal of it at all - in fact, they offered the forms without me even having to ask! Remember that no person is infallible. This includes us of course, but certainly does not exclude doctors and nurses. You should feel free to disagree with your care provider and should not hesitate to stand firm if need be. There are ways to do this that are less confrontational than others. First, it is important to have an open dialogue with your care-provider as soon as you have questions or feel convicted about any aspect of pregnancy and birth. Change care-providers as quickly as possible if you find that you are unable to agree to respect the time of the care-provider you are leaving and the one you will be switching to. It is also wise practice to thoroughly think through the things you want (and more importantly don't want) for your birth, and write them down in a birth plan. Here are some good guides for writing yours from Mothering.com, Childbirth.org, and BabyCenter, and make sure to read ours (linked at the bottom of this post).
You can begin to build an intimate and loving bond with your child right away. Skin-to-skin contact right away or as soon as possible releases a cascade of hormones that will ease your baby's transition into the world and aid mother (and father) in recovering from labor. Breastfeeding within the first hour or so is also an important means of bonding that is often delayed or overlooked. Even before your baby is born you can prepare for those first moments by making sure the atmosphere that you will birth in is as conducive as possible to you and your baby getting quality time. Ask to room in with your baby, and if you do need to be separated from your baby, ask that the nurses refrain from giving baby a bottle or pacifier. Limit your guests if you need to, and stay in the hospital for as short a time as possible.
And finally - don't trust yourself more than God. It is tempting, when we've done the hard work of researching and praying through these issues to take pride in how much we know an be unyielding or even hostile in our passion over our birth philosophy. However, Proverbs tells us that "pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." and of course, "pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." God alone knows how your pregnancy and birth will end. Ultimately, we are not in control and the glory is not ours if things go well - nor is the guilt necessarily ours if they don't. In His Sovereignty, He allows families to face all kinds of trials. I cannot imagine the longing of infertility or the devastation of losing a child. We have to remember that we have no guarantee that things will go the way we want them to no matter how much we plan. I did not plan a hospital birth with Aidan, nor did I want a blood transfusion when all was said and done. (read his birth story here and follow-up here). I think that a midwife-assisted homebirth would be amazing - but I won't feel that I have somehow failed if I never get one. We have to extend grace and compassion to ourselves and others when we make mistakes and/or experience unexpected tragedy and trials. It is important to be good stewards of the bodies and children that God has given us, but the word steward by definition acknowledges that our bodies and our children our not our own, but God's. Read this excellent article for more.
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I didn't want to overwhelm you with link after link to all of the great information on the internet (and in books) about natural childbirth, but I don't expect you to take my word for it! I will be posting one more part to the series soon that will be a compilation of resources for pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding. I plan to add to it regularly. Until then, here's a taste:
Our Birth Plan for Cora Ruth- Don't hesitate to ask us anything about the choices we've made - this plan is almost identical to our plan for Aidan.
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3 comments:
I tried to view your birth plan, but it says you need to share it with me... my username is allisonfriedrich. I look forward to reading it!
me too :o) jessicamaag
Sorry about that! I added your user names and I *think* I also changed the settings so that it is public now. No one should have to sign in anymore. :)
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