Some news

We haven't been posting serious updates very often because things have been a little worrisome as of late. Not long after the first appointment when I heard the baby's heartbeat, I started spotting and cramping. The blood was brown and didn't get too serious , but the cramping was intense at times. I starting reading everything I could online. Mothering.com is a huge asset right now. Most of the women experiencing the same things as me were going through miscarriage or had just found out that there was no heartbeat and were awaiting a miscarriage. I didn't want to cry wolf (and spend another $75 to see the midwife for no reason when there's nothing to be done) so we decided to wait it out. We didn't tell too many people that we were worried and in a way that made it harder.

I got too emotional to wait though so we set an appointment for today. We saw the baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound - which surprised me honestly - but it was very slow. The midwife couldn't say for certain (legally) since she's not an ultrasound technician, but she counted 80bpm. I saw it too and it looked a lot slower than those I've seen in other ultrasounds online. The baby's heartbeat was at 140bpm 3 weeks ago. We took a blood sample to measure my HCG levels and we'll do another on Friday. we should have the results on Tuesday if nothing happens before then.

So unfortunately the news is a little dismal. :( I've prayed different things throughout these weeks - ranging from desperately wanting the baby to make it, to wanting it to be over with so I don't have to worry - but I know that God is Sovereign. He knows exactly what He is doing and why. Today I feel pretty stable and am not afraid of the future, we'll see about tomorrow. :)

An article my sister and I both came across regarding fetal heart rate: http://radiology.rsnajnls.org/cgi/reprint/192/2/343.pdf I am 11 weeks along so these statistics only sort of match up. We'll see.